When adolescents say something is boring, what they’re often expressing is a low level of anger and frustration. My guess is that this comes from the fact that either they don’t have anything interesting to do and they’re frustrated, or the task they have to do isn’t exciting and requires attention and energy. So when you say, “It’s time to go do your math now,” and a teen responds, “Math is so boring,” they’re expressing a low level of frustration and anger about having to do their math homework, probably because math is boring to them. I tend to honor these kinds of statements in the affirmative. If a child were to tell me he was bored, I’d say, “Can I help you with any ideas on how to make it easier to deal with?” If he said yes, I’d try to process some choices with him. If he said no, I’d say, “OK, well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me,” and then go on about my business. Remember, as a parent, it is not your job to fix your child’s negative feelings or solve his social problems. It’s your job to teach him how to solve problems such as figuring out something to do. It’s also your job to let him experience the negative feelings that the problem of boredom is triggering.
Your Child: “That’s boring! I don’t want to do my math homework.”
Translation: “I’m angry and frustrated because math isn’t cool or exciting.”
Ineffective: “You’re just saying that because you’re lazy and don’t want to do the work.”
Effective: “I know math can be boring, but it’s your responsibility to get it done. Why don’t I help you get started?”
For parents of younger children: When your child says he or she is bored, the solution is simple. Give them something to do, or give them a choice of two things to do. You can start by asking them if there’s something they’re interested in doing, but don’t push them to make a choice. You can also create tasks and jobs for younger children, such as having them help you in the kitchen or in the yard. This can redirect their energy and dispel their feelings of boredom.
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I have used this technique for a long time. my daughter is 6 years old and she know that when she gets bored, she can go to the "learning center" we have set up in the house. It is really only a cabinet and drawers that I make sure to put different activities in. There are coloring books, puzzles, games, crafts, activity books, reading books. Whatever your child is into and age appropriate of course. I also make sure there is a drawer labled for each child. That way if a child does not get to finish the project at that time, none of the others can take it away.
Comment By : Monica
A number of my students, when I asked, told me that when they said it or a class was boring, they simply didn't want to do the work and/or participate in the class.
Comment By : mightyhorn
My 8 year old son, says school is boring and he doesn't like it. I don't know what to tell him anymore.
Comment By : TJ MOM of 3
It has been my experience that kids say something is boring because they are frustrated that they aren't allowed to do what they want to do, and their will is being subjugated to that of authority. My son, who is 13 and has ADHD, constantly does that. I simply tell him that it is an important life lesson that he needs to learn-we do have tos before we do want tos. When that is consistently the answer, they eventually seem to get over their anger at being stymied, and accept that their will isn't going to prevail. My problem comes up when I see him starting to act more maturely, and I want to reward him and allow him to have more say, and end up shooting myself in the foot by undermining my own position.
Comment By : mk2008
Wow mk2008 I agree. I sometimes think I am on this island and the only one going through some of these things. I then read these posts and realize we all are. It is helpful and comforting at the same time.
Comment By : sl63
My 16 year old boy often says \\\"I am bored, there\\\'s nothing to do\\\" when he has homework to do. Then I suggest to do his homework or to read but he says \\\"I can do it later\\\" Sometimes he goes to YMCA to play basketball but if there is no one to play together he is bored easily without playing more 15 to 20 minutes. Is there any good suggestions in these cases?
Comment By : HSFL
Dear HSFL: If your child has homework to do, you might say “I understand that you’re bored. You need to have your homework done by 4 o’clock. Once it’s done, I’d be happy to help you figure out what you might like to do.” Once his homework is finished, you can address the activities he is choosing. Kids often say they’re bored – I often take that to mean “I’m not interested in what I’m doing.” Unless your child has had a sudden change in his interest level (not enjoying things he used to enjoy – which may be a sign of depression), he may just be experiencing the normal ups and downs of adolescence. You might encourage him to find an after-school job, or volunteer somewhere, to help him feel more challenged and engaged. If he enjoys the YMCA, perhaps an after-school league or group class would give him something to focus on. If he refuses, let him know that he will need to find something on his own. Do not continue to make suggestions once you have initially done so. If he continues to complain of boredom, you can say “I’ve given suggestions. If they don’t interest you, it’s up to you to find something different.” Good luck!
Comment By : Megan Devine, LCPC and Parental Support Line Advisor
