EmpoweringParents.com

Last year, a friend of mine sent her out-of-control teenage son to a well-respected, accredited wilderness camp for the summer, where he apparently thrived. And when he got back, things were great at home—for about a week. “In about 2 weeks he turned back into the same old Drew– if possible, he has even been worse,” she told me. Sad to say, this is not unsurprising. Many experts agree that boot camps, which typically last anywhere from a week to 30 days (and can cost $5,000-$10,000) do not offer long term benefits because of their short duration. The advice from professionals? If you’re considering this for your child this summer, have a plan in place–and stick to it–when your son or daughter comes back home. This will help keep your child (and your entire family) on track, and to support the experience kid has in boot camp or on a wilderness trip.

The other day I was in a big box store that sells things cheaply (I won’t name it, but I’ll let you guess where I was–lots of smiley faces everywhere) when I witnessed a mom in the act of “negotiating” with her kids. “Mom, I want this soda,” one whined, while the other shoved a Polly Pockets in her face. “No, now I told you we’re not going to get anything today…well maybe if you’re good…well, you look like you really want that. OK, Honey.” Her cart was full of stuff that kids crave: candy, soda, toys, and plastic junk. One lone gallon of laundry detergent sat at the bottom of the heap, and I guessed that was her original reason for coming to the store.

Read more »

The earlier you can diagnose ADHD, the better. Kids often struggle in school and in the community due to a lack of help and from a misunderstanding of their condition. This often leads to frustration, increased inappropriate behavior, poor academic achievement, and eventually low self-esteem and depression, not to mention an increased likelihood for substance abuse. Early and appropriate intervention can prevent these serious consequences, and instead promote healthy development with the prospects for a more satisfying life in childhood and as an adult. If you suspect that your child may have ADHD, start with a trip to a trusted pediatrician and go from there.

Read more »

Last night my 5 year old son looked me straight in the eye and said, “I didn’t do it.” What he didn’t do was tear up a newspaper and throw the pieces all over the kitchen floor while I was on the phone. “Well, then who did?”

Read more »

My friends and I all have secret fears about our children. My friend Caroline is deathly afraid her children will get sick. She wakes up at night, heart pounding, wondering if the bruise on her son’s arm is really cancer. My other friend Jaimie worries that her daughter is so socially awkward that she won’t ever make good friends. My secret fear? That my son will be bullied in school, just like I was in 4th grade. (But that’s a topic for another blog post.)

Well, my fears were realized last fall. When I picked Alex up from the playground at pre-school, I saw him playing with some other kids, but as I got closer, I realized that one of the boys was actually throwing rocks at my son. Not only did Alex not say anything, he didn’t even move out of the way. When I ran up to the them, the tears were rolling down my child’s face, and all he said was, “Billy is hurting me.” Ugh. As I hugged him, I felt about 3 inches tall. How could we have raised our son and not taught him how to protect himself? (Never mind how to assert himself!)

Read more »

Many of you have been talking about the effects of diet and food additives on kids with ADHD, so I wanted to weigh in on this topic.

In a well-known UK study last year, the effects of artificial food color and additives (AFCA) on kids found that food additives make hyperactive behaviors more pronounced in children as young as 3 and up to middle childhood, around 9 years of age. The study found that a significant though small group of children exhibited hyperactivity as a result of drinking a specially concocted drink containing food colors and preservatives.

Read more »

It’s started already. My son Alex will announce “I hate school!” in the mornings, and then come up with any reason he can think of to stay home. This is often accompanied by crying and screaming. “I don’t feel well. I don’t want to do what the teacher says. School is poopy.” (He’s five—right now, “poopy” is the worst insult he can hurl.) And my favorite, “I can’t go to school because there is a dragon in my belly.” Seriously. When I dropped him off last week, he stood howling at the chain link fence of the playground, screaming my name like Stanley Kowalski in A Streetcar Named Desire. “Moommmmmmmy! Moooommmmmmmmmy!” You would have thought I was dropping him off at Sing Sing, and not the pre-school he’s loved for 2 years.

Read more »

Dear Parental Support Specialists,

We have two sons, ages 15 and 13. My 13-year-old is struggling in school. He is an athlete and I seem to always hold this consequence over him: “If you don’t get good grades, you are not going to play baseball.” But, now that I have read many of your articles, I don’t think that I am doing the right thing. Good grades and baseball don’t match according to the rule of “the punishment should fit the crime.”

Any suggestions?

Thanks, Lisa

Read more »

“I didn’t get any sleep last night,” said Bill, another parent at my son’s school, when I dropped off Alex this morning. And Bill did look horrible– scraggly beard, dark circles under his eyes and crazy bed head–almost like he’d gone on a bender. “Maya (6) got up 2 times last night. I ended up sleeping in bed with Cameron (3), and my wife was in bed with Maya. I never know where I’ll end up during the night,” he said as he shuffled off in search of coffee. If this game of musical beds sounds familiar, there’s a reason—co-sleeping, or sleeping in bed with your kids—is on the rise, and has been increasing every year for the last decade or so.

Read more »

In the news this week, there have been stories of misconduct by teachers, students and other school authority figures, from the teacher who duct taped his student to a desk, to the Pre-K teacher in Texas who was caught on tape saying “You all are stupid kids. If you’re mean to me, that means I get to be mean to you—got it?” And then there was the school bus driver in Phoenix who got into a shoving match with a 15- year-old student. (The student was suspended, the bus driver is now on paid leave pending further investigation.) In this post, James Lehman talks about what’s going on in our schools, and why teachers need training, too.

Read more »