EmpoweringParents.com

When I was first started as a parent blogger for EP, it was suggested that I look at parenting from a “Dad’s” point of view. Funny, in all the years I’ve been parenting, I never considered my point of view being other than just a parents’ viewpoint.You see, for a period of five and one half years, I was a single parent of three children, Frank III, Louis (Lou), and Dominica (Mini). When I became a full-time single parent, they were ten, eight, and seven.

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For a long time it felt like I was constantly telling my kids, “Stop tattling!”  Whether it was reporting on who was hitting a sibling, who ate chocolate chips without asking, or who was coloring when they should be doing homework, the tattling in my house had gotten out of hand. In fact, it got to the point where I would turn a deaf ear any time someone ran up to me and started ratting out their brother or sister. Ignoring any and all telling came back to haunt me one day, though, when my daughter ran inside for what I thought was another tattle session. I held up my hand and stated, “I don’t want to hear it!  I’m tired of you tattling on your brother!”  Imagine my horror when she proceeded to tell me through tears that her brother had fallen off the deck and cut his knee wide open. That’s when I realized our family had to come up with some way of differentiating between tattling and reporting.

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I have a theory about the three little ones (ages 10, 9 and 5) that I am raising. As a parent, I remind myself that I can build them up or tear them down when I don’t even know it.

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A little while ago, I blogged about starting to address my 13-year-old son’s offensive language. The changes started slowly, but he showed some improvement with consistent feedback. Whenever he slipped, he lost a specific video game or went to bed earlier. But the issue still hangs on. We both need more practice.

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Here’s a great project for all Moms and Dads to do with their kids this Thanksgiving. I want you to play the “interviewer”… like a news reporter. But this time, the celebrity you are about to interview is your child. This is a great way to start some real conversations with your kids. (Anyone taking a long car ride this holiday?) It’s also a good way to practice the art of listening — something we all need a reminder to do once in awhile. Take a look at these 10 questions and please blog back your (or your child’s) answers to share with other readers of EP: You might be surprised at what you hear!

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In graduate school I had a very wise marital and family counseling professor who said, “The parental relationship is central to a family with kids.” As a newly married student with no kids, I didn’t pay much attention to him. It wasn’t until I had my firstborn that I realized something: kids can ruin your marriage. Now, I say this somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but honestly, I can’t think of anything in my marriage that has caused us as much stress as our children! Of course, our kids bring my husband and me boundless joy, loads of entertainment, and unconditional love, but they can stress us out more than any job, in-law situation, or homeowner problem. That is why it is imperative to heed my wise professor’s advice: nurture your marriage.

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My last blog posting included a list of “15 Things I Want To Do With My Son Before He Is 16″. So, as you can guess, I am a member of that breed known as Listmakers. The story I want to share with you in this posting has stayed in my computer desktop-diary for a few years. But it’s worth sharing, I’ve been told. It makes the point about how important it is to praise our children, and also about how closely our children are listening to us, always.

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Have you ever noticed how kids are so literal? It seems that at times you must be very literal when communicating with them in order to have a clear understanding of what is expected.

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