EmpoweringParents.com

This speech, also known as “The Eleven Rules of Life,” has been widely attributed to Bill Gates, but it’s actually part of educator Charles Sykes book, Dumbing Down our Kids. We’re posting it again here during this season of high school and college graduations.

RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it.

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A group of third-graders—kids ages 8-10—were caught plotting to attack and kill their elementary school teacher. They even had assigned roles—one child was going to blacken the windows of the classroom, and another was going to clean up afterward. The nine boys and girls in the learning disabilities class (kids in the class have ADHD, ADD and developmental delays) were organized enough to bring knives, a paperweight, handcuffs and duct tape. The plan was to knock her unconscious with the paperweight and then stab her. The reason why they were going to attack her? She’d scolded a girl for standing on a chair in the classroom. The teacher of the class, Miss Belle Carter, said that they were “good kids” and couldn’t believe they were planning to attack her.

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From time to time, kids will say that they’re bored of school. There’s some research that indicates that when some kids are bored, they’re actually mildly angry. And so, I think that kids do get angry with school, it is boring sometimes. They also don’t like the responsibility of all the assignments. As they get older, these assignments don’t appear to prepare them for the adult world and they resent it, and they resent having to do them.

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Is paying kids for good grades a good idea? An article in USAToday this week mentioned that some states are getting in on the act–and paying students for good academic results.

In my home, we had a system where if our son got on the honor roll, he got a monetary reward—one we could afford. Not one that was a stretch for us. If he didn’t get on the honor roll, he didn’t get punished. He just didn’t get the reward. And I asked him, “What did you learn from this?” And, “What are you going to do differently next time to make the honor roll?” We focused him on the steps to take to get the reward next time. That fit our family just fine. Yes, we used money. But this is a decision that has to be made on a family by family basis. Read more »

With all the problems we have with kids in school systems today, I’m amazed to find people arguing on the web this week about whether or not we’re misdirecting kids by paying them for good grades. I think it’s a pretty artificial controversy, because the issue is not so much what you offer as a reward, but what your goal is with the child. Read more »

You’ve probably already heard the story about Jane Hambleton, the “World’s Meanest Mom.” She found a bottle of alcohol in her teen-age son’s car and took out an ad in her local paper that said “OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.”

Don’t you love it? This reminded me of the woman in Chicago who went on strike a year or so ago when her kids wouldn’t help around the house. She ended up picketing her own home (with her two-year-old) for a couple days, until her two older sons finally agreed to her demands. Read more »