Stopping a Temper Tantrum in its Tracks:
What to Do When Kids Lose it

It’s a familiar scene: You’re standing in line at the grocery store, almost finished checking out. For the fourth time in a row, your child asks for a piece of candy strategically placed at kids’ eye-level in the checkout line. You’ve repeatedly said no, when suddenly, the tantrum starts. His legs and arms flail, and then he lets go with an ear-piercing scream and begins hitting the floor. Meanwhile, between muffled apologies and frantic bagging, you attempt to get as far away from the store as possible.

How to Give Kids Consequences That Work

A consequence is something that follows naturally from a person’s action, inaction or poor decision. It differs from a punishment in that a punishment is retribution. Punishment is “getting back” at someone, to hurt them back for a hurt they did. When you get a speeding ticket, it’s not a retribution for something you did wrong. It’s a consequence of your poor choices and decisions.

When you’re giving a child a consequence, it’s important to make it flow naturally from the child’s choice or action. For example, if your son sleeps late and doesn’t get up for school, the natural consequence is to go to bed earlier that night to get more sleep. The natural consequence isn’t to take his phone for a week. Tell him he has to go to bed early for the next three nights, and then if he can show you he can get up for school, you’ll go back to the later bedtime.

Managing the Meltdown

Kids have meltdowns and temper tantrums for two reasons. 1.) Because they have never learned how to manage or have run out of the tools it takes to manage their feelings in a new situation or event. 2.) Because tantrums have worked for them in the past to get what they want pretty quickly. It’s all about learning and developing coping skills from day one with children... here’s why.

Is It a Phase?

Will your child “grow out of” the bad behavior? James Lehman takes a look at when it’s a phase—and when you need to step in.