Kids Who Steal: What You Need To Know

Catch it in the bud. It will only get worse. I know someone who stole assets and irreplaceable mementoes by abusing her role as POA. The adult child took advantage of her mom when the mom became ill. The child also failed to realize that POA is only for whenMore someone is ill and not when the person recovers. Not only did the adult child steal but failed to take responsibility for paying the bills. The mom found herself dealing with collection agencies. The POA does not have to be a family member but must be someone who has your best interests in mind and not their own.😥

I have 2 grandchildren I get them for a week every summer the last 2 summers things have gone missing that must have been taken. They denied it. I dont know what to do. Both of their parents steal,

My son 16 has been stealing mostly from me since 10. Usually denies it. Recently I secured proof from his phone. He became hysterical tried turning himself in to police. He says he can’t help it and cries fir help. We have tried numerous therapist no help. Begging for someoneMore who deals with this kind of addiction can’t find.

How do you help a 10 year old boy that has ADHD in trauma problems that constantly Steals and lies from his grandparents

I really need help. I have a daughter who just turned 11. I have constantly been dealing with her stealing since she was roughly about 5 years old. I thought it was a phase and continously taught her that taking things just because she want it is not the rightMore thing to do. I thought she would have grown out of the behavior but it seems to be getting worst. She continously steals food in which she doesn't have to. Me and my husband explains to her that if she want something to just ask but it seems to go on deaf ears. Her stealing got so bad that she is taking snacks from kids in school and even stealing my infant daughter teething snacks. I tried even hiding the snacks in my room to get her to ask but it does not work she just go in my room and take it. Not only is it snacks but she has got caught stealing my husband's grandmother phone and tablet, money from myself and anything else she can get her hands on. She also lies to cover it up to the point that even her knowing she did it and she knowing that we know she did it and provide her with proof she still lies claiming that she did not do it until I stress to her how I know that she was the one to do it. The behavior is so scary because she will look you in the eye with a serious face adamant that she is innocent and if she can do that with stealing I am afraid of what else she could be hiding and lying about as she get older. I tried everything from positive reinforcement to negative reinforcement and nothing seems to work. I need help especially since I have kids under 5 and do not want them thinking that what their older sister is doing is acceptable. Please if anyone has any type of advice it would be truly appreciated.

I loaned my son $47,000 which is part of my retirement money to buy a condo. The deal was when he sold the condo I would get my money back. It's 12 years & he sold the condo and he has decided not to return my money. More I can't reconcile this to myself. There is no good reason for what he is doing. How can I get past this.

Thr problem with making them do chores is most kids are already required to do chores so than what they dont care about doing more chores i suggest not letting them go out or if thier old enough of course making them pay it back

Whist my fiance was pregnant we received a phone call from her sister that her son was in trouble and asked if we could foster him for 1 year in fear he would be taken into social services, at the time we agreed, from then we started having issues, IMore tried to enroll him at schools, in which he snuffed and every question the school asked the child clearly stated his undesire to learn. After that, I decided to try and home school him to keep him proactive and learning until we could enroll him at a school. This was quickly squashed by the child and his mother both rejecting my attempt that I was not a teacher. With the teenager still at home doing nothing I constantly tried to get him into a school which was not achieved until a year later, (already overdue when his mother said we would keep him). Now child is in school his behaviour has worsened. We give him £50per week for food (after his mother refused we buy for him) but he continues to steal what little food we have, when we ask him we have a feeling he took food he completely denies it and his mother sides with him. Recently it has become worse and money and electronics have gone missing, he denies it and again his mother believes him, he has since been refusing to tidy his room, after many requests I have now removed all his stuff from his bedroom in a final attempt to get through to him, again it appears his mother is supporting his behaviour and in denial about any negative behaviour, and bedroom is untidily for 1 month + in 2 months, he will return to his mother but his behaviour is getting worse and don't think we can last, recently £250 went missing, we all know who did it, said party has new devices and games, but mother again refuses to acknowledge it. Was told only 2 months left, but enough is enough

I would also refrain from leaving wallets, purses, and cash out in the open. Place these items (or any others you think your son or daughter is prone to steal) in a locked area where your son or daughter can't get to them. Leaving any such items out in theMore open is inviting the very problem you're seeking to avoid.

We live in Ontario, Canada. Our daughter has stolen from us multiple times, credit cards, cash i the past. $200 to $2000 at a time. We are not rich, my wife and I both work of butts off to get ahead. Our daughter dropped out from 1st year University andMore did not take advantage of a full paid RESP. Recently she stole CAN $40,000 we had set aside to renovate our house. Her mother found the keys in our daughter's drawer. My wife screamed oh my GOD! my copies of the keys! and fair enough, she was right. The money was gone. Our daughter does not live with us and although I had little contact with her (due to her past behaviour), my wife would always ask her to come visit, cook her a nice meal and go out to get their nails done, stuff like that. I did not get involved. After the theft, I went into a deep state of depression, just could not react, I could not tell anyone, I felt ashamed, fooled, hurt, angry, cannot describe the emotions. Our daughter denies the stealing but with her story of stealing we know it was her. We filed a police report, they took a statement but the police said they were busy and someone would eventually follow up. Although they were sympathetic, they did not take the case seriously, it seems. The cop said such cases are not considered a serious crime in Canada. I realise it is just money which comes and goes. 1st of all, it a large amount of money for us. 2nd the relationship with our daughter is ruined. We changed the locks of the house. My position I will cut ties with her and our family unless I see an admission and a willingness to seek help for whatever issues she has that is making her behave this one. I suspect drugs, bad company, bad boyfriend, mental illness. She seems clean and does not appear to be using heavy drugs.

My child has recently stole 40 dollars from my dresser. She is sixteen and she has stolen before. I don't know what consequences I should giver her. I love her but she needs to learn that stealing is wrong.

We have been dealing with this since my son was little. He's still stealing and he's almost 13. Last year we hD to change our credit card numbers 3 times. It's exhausting and the impulse control problem paired with the disrespect, violent anger, ODD, and rudeness has been almost moreMore than we can handle.

We are raising our great grandson who has ADHD, ODD, and we don’t know what all else, but he has broken into my computer, tablet, phone, husband’s phone and tablet and others. He has gotten into my credit and debit cards, at least four times. I was keepingMore them in my safe, and what do you know, he stole my keys. We are at the end of our rope. I hope it gets better from here. We are following your advice.

I have a 12 year old boy who is very welll behaved at home, but a very mis-behaved at school!!!! he has in the past stole from the house, my mother in laws purse and is stealing from pupils bags and coats in school. He under Social Services andMore has had a very feral up bringing. He has been with us now for 2 years and everyone he meets, has indicated a lovely lad. He gets everything, the best clothing and all he needs. He will lie and then get angry towards his sibling who also lives with us. we have tried everything possible and are now at a loose end, in how we can deal with this. Any advice would be great

I wish this article was my parents I took some money because everyone at my school has 400 dollar clothes and I'm stuck with a 10 dollar t-shirt and I feel like I don't fit in when my mum and dad found out they called the police on me!

I agree with what is written in principle. But the bit about stealing credit card to buy game is seriously out of date.

"call your credit card company and have them notify you if someone tries to use your card for online gaming—or whatever type of site your child was on—in the future"

Third party payment methods as well as polymorphic merchant(amazon, microsoft store etc) makes this targeted monitoring almost impossible. In all seriousness, you should get a notification for EVERY transaction. Also reduce risk of other people stealing your credit card for things.

"the game is deleted from the computer"

This... would only work for maybe half the games the day the article is written. Now? 5-10% maybe.

Most games now are sold as digital license, which means deleting the game does nothing, it can be downloaded again "for free" as long as the child still have the account used to make the purchase. Continuous monitoring of computer content is possible but could be difficult if there are also legit game of similar title/genre residing in the device--there are a dozen total wars game, can you tell which is which?

Performing a refund or charge back will likely prevent future access but might result in the entire account associated being banned. If the account only contains "stolen" content, that would be fine. But in case it also contains stuff that the child have earned, potentially by performing chores etc, then I'm not so sure. You guys are probably more of an expert here, is it right for someone to lose access to ten things when he or she have worked for 9 and stolen only the last one?

And I don't even know what can you possibly do if you didn't notice a digital purchase from say two month ago which you cannot perform charge back on(chance of refund is almost nil at this point, so charge back is only thing you can try). Unless the child cooperates and surrender the account and you make it inaccessible(again, same problem as above if there are "legit" stuff on there too), the only solution you have left might be stopping access to the physical device. And if that's what you resort to, beware of multi-platform/device games, you might have to take away ALL his devices.

P.S. I noticed the article because someone posted the exert on this particular section in a chat room. I proceeded to find the article and here we are.

I have a 27 year old brother who keeps spending money on video games. He current does not have a job and was fired from his recent one in which he stole from them. He opened a credit card prior to that and spent $5,000 on a creditMore card he opened and paypal credit over the course of a few months on various items, mostly video games and related items. He's also stolen cash from my parents and even written checks out of their accounts for over $1,500. I've tried to support him and told my parents to go easy on him after the first mistake. But yet he does it over and over again. I'm losing patience with him. I'm running out of ideas on how to teach him to be responsible. He made a good 800 per month on his recent job, but yet still it wasn't enough to spend. He lives at home and has no bills to pay. I could really use some ideas. I know my brother can be responsible, but there might be an underlying issue that I can't figure out.

I'm know 20 years old and stuck sleeping in a mobile home next to my parents house. I have access to the kitchen and bathroom that's in the their house.

My sister and her partner and their child live in the house with my parents. I know that I take things, ,I'll inform them before taking anything which is usually agreed and replace as soon as I can. Know I'm being attacked by everyone in the house for stealing anything and everything . My parents have recently bought a camera where they have caught my sister and her partner and their daughter stealing from them expecailly in the bed room and kitchen. But they still have a go at me for it and are thretening to kick me out. Last time it was about stealing chocolate which wasn't me led to them threatened to kick me out. I haven't took anything and I store most of my food in the mobile home, but they come in and steal from me as well I've even started to buy extra such as milk, coffee, sugar, bread and washing powder to try to prevent them having a go at me. But still they have a go at me for taking and tell me not to buy extras. My sisters partner and daughter have made it so hard and stressful to keep and maintain a job because they keep stealing they even used my credit card to buy legal highs . I can't find a full time job where my parents have not got full control over my income, to pay for driving lesson or find suitable accomadtion while trapped in a village 8 miles away from the nearest town is physically making me sick

If the father have dementia and living with his daughter already in her 40s . And she is steeling money from her dad.., what can be donr

I enjoyed the article by Carole Banks.

Very informative and I agree with the advice outlined in the article.

Thanks for sharing.

I'm a single mom of two kids. My youngest is 10. His father has spent most of his life in and out of jail and a one time prison sentence. I have worked so hard keeping him with counselors, psychologists, mentors, sports, etc. We recently relocated to my mom'said houseMore until we can afford a home of our own. I have a little over $7,000 saved in my bank at home, which both my kids know is for our home. I was going to take my kids out to a special wrestling event tonight and as I was getting ready he walked by and I saw him putting a folded up $20 bill. I asked him innocently where he got the $20. He tells me some kid from school. Are you kidding me?!?!?! I was not born yesterday, nor am I that stupid to believe that. But obviously he thought so because he kept up with that story. He didn't know the kid's name, why the kids gave it to him, etc. I sat him down down and told him there was no way I believed his story and that I wanted the truth. He did not look at me, he did not say another word, not even an apology! He only looked at me when I told him to and then he just looked away and acted like whatever. I told him I was very disappointed but more so heartbroken than anything. I told him whatever he asks for I basically get or do for him or make him work to earn it. I also told him he had lost my trust and that it is easier to keep trust than to earn it back. He lost all electronics, including TV. I'miss not sure if he should loose baseball for a week. I want him to know he did wrong and to learn his lesson now. But I'miss trying to be careful with myself because I don'the want to compare him to his father. That is my biggest fear. Is there something I missed or did I go overboard, I don't think he is taking me seriously.

I caught my daughter looking for money to take from siblings money boxes. She is nearly 13 and has been disruptive for some years. Schools have always blamed us for her behaviour. Even though her behaviour has cost me my job and confidence. Her siblings make mistakes. We talk about them and they don't do it again.

We got involved with social care who just like her current school place the blame firmly on us.

I have been sent to parenting classes, mental health assesments (because I got upset talking about her), had every aspect of MY life combed over.

Just now I got a bill from school, even though she takes a healthy lunch to school she has been buying food there so double ate, plus I caught her off guard with a large helping from the fast food outlet.

Social care told us we are to blame for her stealing as we should just give her more money. I don't want to live with this girl anymore since she is destroying the family foundation. SC has no psycolical training but an answer for everything. BLAME THE PARENTS.

Social care in their blindness say she looks a healthy teenager, she is not quite 13 but a firm size 16 in her clothes.

Our 11 year old daughter is stealing constantly, on a daily basis and has been for the past 2-3 years. It has grown from stealing sweets from her siblings every week or two, to being a daily problem which now involves stealing money, jewellery, food, sweets and pretty much anythingMore she can get her hands on. In the beginning it was an annoyance for us, and as the situation has become worse, it has progressed from annoyance, to frustration, to anger. I have to stress that she has never wanted for anything and only ever had to ask for a treat, and received the same as her siblings. She and her siblings can sit there with a bag of sweets and she will finish hers and steal theirs. She has no reason to steal the sometimes random things such as jewellery which she then loses or breaks or simply stashes away. We are at the end of our rope and find it extremely difficult to deal with as no punishments have deterred her and there is not much support from the family as they think she is an angel. She is VERY manipulative for a child i must add, as mentioned previously the rest of the family think she is an angel because when in their company she will use her manners, offer to be helpful, much like she WAS when she was younger before this change. Punishments have also evolved from talking to her, then yelling at her, spanking her, to now having stopped all her after school activities and clubs which she finds fun. We cannot justify letting her go off and enjoy herself after costing us close to $1000. Family members comment that it may not be best excluding her from these things, but whether she attends them or not, the stealing ALWAYS continues. She even went to stay with family to give us a break from it all for a week, and in that week she stole $15 from a family members house as well as chocolate and other items. We have no idea what to do from here, and as terrible as it may sound, if she was older we would have called the police to give her a scare as it needs to stop. I could write about this all day to explain the situation further, but i think one of the important things to mention is that her younger brother and sister are great kids who will not even take their own sweets without asking permission and they never do anything wrong. Id appreciate any feedback.

I have a 20 year old son who has stolen money from my wallet and I caught him and made him give it back. Last week I came home from work and my 50" smart TV was gone I didn't blame him I told him someone broke in our houseMore and stole our TV... I cried to him.. the very next day the blue ray DVD was missing I asked if he took it and he said he barrowed it. It was in his car. So I told my neighbor someone stole my TV .. he said your son took it. It sounded so Serreal I was in shock .. so I confronted him and he denied it . I took away his house key remote for the gate and told him he needed to leave ..I changed the locks and my Husband put poles in all the windows. 3 days later I was at the hospital with my 3 year old who had pneumonia and my neighbor texted me telling me my son just took the AC wall unit and 2 black boxes .. I rushed home and he used a screw driver to open the back door and took 1 Mac Pro laptop and a regular laptop. I called the police and made a report but they said technically he lives here since you just threw him out so there is nothing they can do. Please help me I'm devastated and feel betrayed and violated by my own son.

Hi,

My 9 year old daughter is stealing constantly. From me, from school on a daily basis pretty much. She even has a reputation in the neighborhood as a thief and some of the kid aren't allowed to play with her. She lost her father 3 years ago and I have her in weekly counseling and she also sees a psychiatrist and is on meds for adhd. No matter what the consequence is and no matter what my fiancé and I say to her she continues to steal. Yesterday morning she stole 5 different things from me. I have explained to her that eventually she will be getting serious consequences for this. I really feel like she is addicted to the rush. She is a VERY smart girl she is in gifted classes and I have her in dance and theatre in her school. I don't know what it is going to take for her to STOP. But people are going to be less forgiving because she is al.ost 10 years old now and should know better. I'm fresh out of ideas of what to say or do. Everyone tells her the same things and she doesn't seem to listen.

Hi,

My daughter sometimes steals money and my wife (her mother) made sure that she did that. I read in her diaries that she did that on purpose to make us angry because she thinks I and my wife are treating our youngest daughter (8 years old) differently. We tried to deal with the situation as quietly as possible. Recently she did the same (we think after a fight with her mother on how my daughter treats her sister).

Her mother confronted her and she claimed that she did not do it and her mother might overlooked her purse. At the end of the day, my wife found out that she returned the money to the purse without saying anything.

My Question is should we (my wife and I) pretend that she found the missing money, or should we not raise the issue any more.? (We are 100% she did that)

My 17 year old son has been stealing money and possessions from us. It happened last year and is happening again. Does anyone know if I take him to the police will they press charges and prosecute him without our consent. Really we want to just scare himMore but do not want to prosecute him. Any advice?

This is my first time on here/ or posting anything. I and my husband have been reaising his children since they where 3 and 4. Their bio mother started using drugs and made horrible decision that she went to prison and did not see the children for 3 years andMore she now has 2 more children and is not consistent in seeing her children that live with me and their father. Our son is adhd and is under a doctor's care to take meds. He sees 2 counslors a week. Our son has been stealing and losing to us and anyone he needs from a young age. The counslors tell us it's because he learned at a young age that he needed to care for himself while in his bio mother's care. My husband I and his ex-wife get along very well and are working together to help our son. The counslors also say that our son just acts on impulse and that's why he does so much bad things. We have tried everything at this point we are so fusterated and angery with him. He steals from his family, his teachers younger children his friends, I and his father need help we love our son so much but it's taking a toll on all of us. Please someone help us. We want the best for our son

I have gone through the article,

This article going to help many parents.

I am looking forward to see more article from you.

Thank you

My 20 year old son took over 3000 dollars out of my bank account what do I do please help?

AhmedIsmail1 We appreciate you writing in to Empowering Parents and sharing your story. I am sorry to hear about the current conflict between your brother and your father. Because we are a website aimed at helping people become more effective parents, we are limited in the advice and suggestions weMore can give to those outside of a direct parenting role. Another resource which might be more useful to you is the Boys Town National Hotline, which you can reach by calling 1-800-448-3000, 24/7. They have trained counselors who talk with kids, teens and young adults everyday about issues they are facing, and they can help you to look at your options and come up with a plan. They also have options to communicate via text, email, and live chat which you can find on their website, http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/ We wish you the best going forward. Take care.

My 15 year old son has taken my debit card, he's sneaking out of the house taking my car, and has taken money from me and my other son. Last week, I noticed my wedding ring, my (deceased) husbands wedding band, and 2 other jewelry items missing but he isMore denying it. He did admit to taking money, but not my jewelry. I have changed the lock on my garage, and both me and my other son have locks on our bedroom doors. Teachers, counselors, and the vice Principal are of no help. He was a B honor roll student last year, but failing every class this year. I'm at a loss.....

beemerwiddow

I hear how challenging your daughter’s behavior has been for

you, and I’m glad that you are reaching out for support.Even though you do not believe that she would

follow through on it, I encourage you to take her threats of suicide seriously

and develop a safety plan.If she is

serious, then you have a plan that will keep her safe from harm.If she is making these statements in an

effort to gain attention, or manipulate the situation, by following the plan

you are letting her know that these statements are not going to help her

achieve that.If you are not currently

working with anyone, I encourage you to contact http://www.familylives.org.uk/ at 0808 800 2222 for

assistance in developing a safety plan for your daughter.I recognize how difficult this must be for

you right now, and I wish you and your family all the best moving forward.Take care.

My son will be 10 in 2 weeks. He had been stealing money from his great grandmother his grandmother and me for about 2 yrs. He steals the money to go to the store to buy junk food. I don't buy junk foo for my home because I am anMore overweight person and I feel we don't need it at home. I don't know what to do anymore. I do always throw it out. What do I do? Please help.

my 17 year old son's girlfriend was wearing a ring that I am missing. I asked her where she got it since my husband gave me one just like it many years ago. she said her mother gave it to her.

I thought he had taken it to buy pot . He said he didn't take it.

My 11 yr old step daughter has been caught stealing several times. She had stolen from 2 different gift shops while on field trips at school, money from my daughter and most recently she used her dads credit card online to buy squishies "silly lil collectable toys". I also believeMore she stole other items from my daughter but I have no proof and she denied it. She has absolutely everything a kid could want. Both her parents spoil her to death and do all kinds of fun things with her. Anyway, her mom thinks we need to keep her busy so she wont steal. My God we are doing family fun trips and fun things every weekend already! My opinion is "STOP BUYING HER EVERYTHING! and make her accountable for her actions!!!" They grounded her #NOT!. I say that because Taking her, IPADs x2, IPHONE, Laptop, DS3, etc, is not grounding when you allow them to play the Wii and buy them stuff to keep them busy and go out to eat and golfing IS NOT GROUNDING in my opinion!!! I would never let my kids "i have raised 4" get off that easy. Am I wrong??????

Hi,

I have a 14 year old daughter who we have caught lying on several occasions about different things. Recently we caught her stealing money from us. Underwear was also appearing

which i confronted her about and she would say a friend gave it to her. this morning I cleaned out her room and there is bag full items which I've never seen before. I'm really not sure how to handle this. Many of the items are fancy under wear from the same store and are new. I look forward to hearing from you.

My 15 year old son stole my husband's work truck while we were in tha hospital with his grandfather who had a stroke I never thought my son would do that but he did an my husband almost lost his job because of it but no one could prove whoMore took tha truck so his boss gave him his job back 3 weeks later my kids get in an argument so my daughter decides to tell on my son should I report it to tha cops to teach my son a lesson I really don't know how to handle it because all I want to do is spank him alot with a belt my mom would have beat the crap out of me if I did that but I want to know tha right way tha positive way ..... help

AmyBoo

It can be so difficult when you watch your child continue to

make poor decisions despite what you have modeled to him and tried to teach

him. As Carole points out in the article above, calling the police is an

option available to you with your son continuing to take your credit

cards. I also understand that this is not a decision to be made lightly,

and it’s one with which many parents struggle. If it is an option you are

considering, I encourage you to contact your local law enforcement agency

during a calm time, and talk about what you might expect if you did call to

report his actions. We have a free downloadable worksheet which can guide

this conversation; you can get a copy https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-talk-to-police-when-your-child-is-physically-abusive/.

In addition, if you are worried that your son might attempt suicide or

otherwise try to harm himself, I encourage you to contact the http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to discuss your concerns and develop a

plan to keep your son safe. I recognize how difficult this must be for

you and your family, and I wish you all the best moving forward. Take

care.

Guest178

We appreciate you writing in to Empowering Parents and

sharing your story. Because we are a website aimed at helping people become

more effective parents, we are limited in the advice and suggestions we can

give to those outside of a direct parenting role. Another resource which

might be more useful to you is the Boys Town National Hotline, which you can

reach by calling 1-800-448-3000, 24/7. They have trained counselors who talk

with kids, teens and young adults everyday about issues they are facing.

They also have options to communicate via chat, email, and live chat which you

can find on their website, http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/

We wish you the best going forward. Take care.

My ten year old son has been stealing money from me in the past year. Not just a couple of dollars either. He has done it 3-4 times and each time it was about $60-$80. I thought we had it under control. He took the money to school and gave it to a friend to buy candy bars. We had our son do some yard work for friends of ours to pay us back. He had to do quite a bit of work over a period of a couple weeks. I also put a pad lock on my purse for a few months to make sure that he didn't do it again. We thought that he learned his lesson and I quit locking my purse up and he did fine for a long time. But then just yesterday he stole $70 from my purse. I don't know what else to do to get him to stop this problem. He also steals food from us, mostly candy. He is very sneaky and and searches for all of our hiding spots. We are beside ourselves to get this under control. Here is a little background on him. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, he seems to have impulse control issues with all the candy and money he steals, he has behavior/anger issues with authority. He struggles a lot in school, is immature for his age ect. Everytime he does something and we give him a consequence we think he's learned. He stops for a while and then it happens again. I don't know what else to do, but know that we need to get a handle on it now before he gets older and it gets worse. Please help me know what to do. I wonder if he needs something that really scares him into never doing it again, like police involvement in some form.

Thank you,

Tami

Hi,

I had an incident yesterday where I think my cousins daughter stole some money from my son. I class her as my niece as we are all so close. My son is 6 and my niece is 9. They get on great and there have never been any problems.

Yesterday we all went out to the park but my son became very poorly and desperately wanted to go home as he felt so bad. This caused my niece to be a little annoyed as she wanted to stay at the park.

We all went back to mine and my son and niece went to play in his bedroom. My cousin and I had a cup of tea whilst the children played and they played fine. No problems. They left after an hour or so.

When my son and I woke this morning he said he would like to go into town and have a look around. He still had 3 pounds left over from the tooth fairy last week so I thought he could put it towards something. When I went to his bedroom to get his money from the top of his bedside table there was only 1 pound coin left. I asked my son if he had moved the money and he said no. I do believe him as he has no reason to lie and he was quite upset when he realized the rest of his tooth fairy money was missing. My son is always giving my niece things like little toys and pencils. He is very kind and loves to share his things with her. I asked if he had given her any of his money but he said no because he was saving it for a game.

I know it's only 2 pound but that's not the point. It's the fact it was his first tooth and he was over the moon the tooth fairy had finally visited and left him money. I cannot say she definitely took itbecause I did not watch her take it, but it was there before she came and this morning we realized it was gone and she was the only person who had been in his bedroom. I don't know wat to do. I don't want to tell my cousin as I almost feel embarrassed to say anything. But should I tell her so she knows what's going on?

Please help I'm so unsure ?

We have been going through these same issues at my home. My 9yo daughter is constantly taking things or getting into things that are not hers. At first it was just makeup, my lipstick or something would go missing. Then it was her stepmother's jewelry. A few months ago IMore caught her taking money from my wallet and walking to the nearby gas station to buy junk food. She has since stopped stealing money, but she's still getting into my makeup. She goes into my room and rummages around when I'm not home. I now have to lock all my makeup in a cabinet. She found the key and got into it again. And she always lies/denies about what she's doing/has done. She has been in counseling for about 6 months and it doesn't seem to be helping. When my boyfriend moved in over a year ago, she went through all his stuff. She literally has no boundaries when it comes to other peoples property. The counselor suggested taking things away from her that she likes to do, but all she does is gymnastics once a week for 6 weeks at a time. When we confront her about these things, she runs to her room, so being in her room isn't even a punishment because she does that herself. She does not have friends in the neighborhood that she plays with. We are at a loss.

I have a niece who is 19 , she stole jewels from my house and when i called her she denied first then she literally she agreed she had sold off the jewels and the reason was she crushed her friends car, she was afraid to tell her parentsMore so she did it it seems , it really made mw worried , i have lose 6k worth of jewels , and recently she tried taking 800 cash from my daughter but we caught her , she didnt tell anything , but she took away a chain and sold it off , when i found out , she said she lost her prefect money so she had to pay back , that is why she did , how is this gonna solve my problem with lost off jewels and she choosing a wrong way to solve her problems , i didnt tell her parents because they are apart

Hi,

I have a 12 year old son who stole money last summer from my husband (his dad). It was a pretty good about, i believe it was at least $200, in addition to several gift cards he stole from his siblings. We gave him consequences and made him return his remaining gift cards to the rightful owners. Much of what he spent the money on, as far as we know, was spent on snacks and food, and not anything more that could be returned. Today, my husband was missing $40 and my other sone was missing $20. We called my 12 year old in to the room and asked him if he had anything to tell us. He did confess to stealing money from both his dad and brother, initially argued that it was only $20 taken from his dad and insisted it was only $20, but when we counted what he had left it didn't add up (he had $10 left). He immediately started crying after he admitted it and said he didn't know why he does that and he was very sorry. We are pretty upset, especially after last summer, and worried about our son and his behavior. I honestly do not know how to proceed, as lying is a big problem with this child and it happens often. He also is at the forefront of most fights between his siblings. I would appreciate any advice you have to give.

Thank you and Sincerely,

P

Posla

It sounds like your family has been through quite a bit

lately, between the loss of your family member and your daughter’s

actions. It’s good that you’re here and reaching out for support.

I’m glad to hear that your daughter is working with someone locally who can

help her to learn safer and more appropriate coping skills she can use when she

is upset. I also recommend that you work with her therapist to develop a

plan you can implement to keep her safe if she continues to engage in dangerous

or self-harming behavior. I also hope that you are taking care of

yourself at this time. Self-care is an important part of parenting which

is often overlooked. Taking care of yourself can take many forms, from

engaging in an activity you enjoy, to using more structured supports, such as

counseling or a support group. Your daughter’s counselor might be able to

inform you of services available to you in your area if you are

interested. I recognize how challenging this must be for you right now,

and I wish you and your family all the best as you continue to move

forward. Take care.

Hi

My mom is mentally unwell. Since I started work my brother had responsibility of my mother's finances (card ). Anything my mother needs to be honest I pay for with my own money inc house bills etc. So her card should be untouched really, except for when she needs something she doesnt want me to pay for. I just ordered a bank statement and it looks like he has taken money from her everyday for the past months. Around 6 - 7 thousand.

I'm so angry because this previously happened with older siblings in my family. Who would rinse my mom. (I couldnt do much back then because I was a lil kid). That's the main reason I let THIS brother have the card when I startrd full time work so he can protect it, protect her. I did not expect this from him at all. But looks like he has been doing exactly the same thing the others did. I am so angry that he could take advantage of my mother's situation like this. I just want to kick him out of the house on her behalf because she doesn't deserve it.

Even though my mother doesn't understand much I still had to tell her that all her money is gone because it is her money. She seemed to understand a little as she looked sad and disappointed when I told her. But she went silent and as usuall is mentally incapable of dealing with these things.

There are no older cousins or close friends of families that I can trust enough to help me confront ny brother about this. And I need to confront him because she can't. I've never had to do such a thing as I am the youngest. So I need help. May seem silly but How can I start the conversation off and what questions can I ask without making him feel cornered. And what if he denies it. Should I or shouldn't I get the other older siblings involved considering they did exactly the same thing as him and probably would still if they had the chance.

I won't do the above unroll I get a response, hopefully asap.

Thank You

T

Akal

We appreciate you writing in to Empowering Parents and

sharing your story. I hear how much you care about and love your brother,

and want him to stay safe and don’t want him to leave your home. Because we are

a website aimed at helping people become more effective parents, we are limited

in the advice and suggestions we can give to those outside of a direct

parenting role. It may be helpful to look into local resources to help you

develop a plan for addressing your particular issues. One that might be

beneficial to you is the Kids Help Phone service. They offer free,

confidential 24/7 phone and web counseling, which you can reach by calling

1-800-668-6868 or by visiting http://www.kidshelpphone.ca

When you reach out, you will be connected with a counselor who will listen and

help you look at your options in this situation. We wish you the

best going forward. Take care.

Misty69

I hear you. On one hand, you want to give your

daughter consequences for her choice to steal money from you. On the

other, you want to keep her safe, and do not want her to self-harm. We

would not recommend taking away the college courses from your daughter, because

that sounds like a positive step for her, and it is not going to teach her what

to do differently the next time she is tempted to take money that does not

belong to her. If you are not already doing so, I encourage you to work

with local resources, such as a counselor or therapist, who can help you to

develop a plan to hold your daughter accountable while keeping her safe.

If you need assistance finding someone in your community, try contacting the http://www.211.org/ at 1-800-273-6222. I

recognize how tough this situation is for you, and I wish you and your family

all the best. Take care.

I have 2 step children. A step daughter who is 13 and a 19 year old step son . My step daughter has taken things from me since the beginning of my marriage to her father. Her father believes that talking with her is enough,More no consequences are necessary. She is now taking items and he questions her, she now lies because she has done it so much! I have found the items, if I confront her about it, she throws a huge temper tantrum and threatens she will no longer live in our home. My husband always backs down and becomes angry with me for confronting her. Now, it has been discovered that his son has taken a large sum of money, I asked what is he going to do? Well, he says he is going to ask him to pay it back! I am very upset with the way he lets them get by with this behavior. However, they are not my children. What can I do? He tells me we have a difference of opinion on ways of disciplining children, whenever I try to talk with him about it. I am afraid to leave my home. I think they will take whatever they want!

My 11 year old son took a cell phone from his father's house without asking. He got caught with it at school and it was taken away from. He then lied to me and his teachers by saying the phone belonged to his friend and that he was going toMore take it home and charge it for him because he had lost his charger. I did not feel comfortable with my son having the phone and left it with the teacher to return to the parent. That's when the whole truth came out. We've decided not to let him play soccer this season. Any other suggestions?

I have an eleven year old grand daughter that constantly steals food and items from home. I recently found out that money has been going missing from my purse and mentioned it to her parents. Her step father went into her room and found money as well as other thingsMore that she has stolen. Snacks have been locked in a cupboard, she has stolen and eaten her little brother Easter candy. She has taken the vehicle keys and gone into the vehicles and stolen snacks and other things from the vehicles that were purposely put there to keep from her. Her parents have been constant in grounding her from leaving the house and going places that she wants to go and she retaliates with full blown temper tantrums and she is a big girl because of the food that she constantly eats and steals to eat. Her parents and I are at a lose as to what to do to stop her from stealing and disrupting the family on a continuous base. We have thought of calling the police to have an officer come and talk with her but the police would think us as bad adults because we cannot stop her habits. Her other grand parents allow her to do and take anything that she wants and she easy manipulate them into do so. What do we do to stop this behaviour and get the whole family on board to help my grand daughter.

Thank you for the well written article. I just encountered this situation today, where my 10 year old sister was found out for stealing my mother's credit card last year and racking up over $1000 in charges between physical and digital items from Amazon. We were able to get theMore accounts closed, and Amazon was able to initiate returns on the majority of the items. My sister now has a weekly chore list to give her a cash allowance, minus a percentage to slowly pay them back. Anything else you'd recommend?

My 10 year old son spent almost 300 $ as in app purchases on his mobile using my debt card. They were facebook games.

How should i deal with to prevent this happening again.?

I took his mobile and deactivated his facebook account.

My husband said that he is missing $40 from his wallet. He says it was my 10 year-old son that took it. But when I asked him if he took the money he says he did not take it. So I checked his clothing I checked his book bag andMore I did not find it. I don't know what to do I don't know if you did take it or not.

Hi, My Little Brother has been having issues with stealing, he is thirteen and I am 26 and on my own. I had him over as a guest and he has been the only one this entire year as I have just graduated from college. Being so busy with workMore and college has left me semi organized. I just cleaned up my house and found that my left over loan money of $500 is missing. I ask my Spouse and he doesn't know where it is, and i am Certain I left it under the mattress to repay back later. I suspect My little brother because He has just been to the hospital with a manic attack to rule out drug usage. We now suspect that He has bipolar one instead of ADHD. As a graduate in special education, I know that stealing could be seen as an impulse issue, or coping mechanism. My Problem is he is family and he is the only one who could have taken it. My mother says he has been stealing household money and buying things that are more than what he has of his own money. How do I confront Him? Get that money back, and not cry at being betrayed. It sounds selfish, but i would rather have the money then have to deal with the troubles he is going through. I am not his parent.

My 25 year old son took $500 and admitted it when I confronted him about it. I also found out he flunked 4 of his 5 subjects this semester when he was supposed to be graduating from college. In the past he has lied about a lot of things like what time he gets home and where he goes. He denies he's into drugs but that could be a lie, too.

I feel deeply saddened by the choices he makes and pray there is hope for him and he can still turn his life around. I already set my boundaries with him and if he steals from me or his father and brothers then he's not welcome to live with us anymore.

Is there hope for adult children like him? Are there those who were able to change for the better and live productive lives?

I have a 10 yr old daughter who stole $200 out of my jewelry box and handed it out to her friends. Her punishment is no Dance class this is what she loves the most but somehow I feel this punishment isn't enough. Do you have any suggestions? Also whenMore I asked her why she did it she says she don't know.

I have a 16 1/2 year old daughter who is constantly lying and stealing. This behavior is very draining. She's the oldest of 4 girls and one boy. She has run away, stole money, hit me and her sisters. She constantly lies and says we ( my husband and IMore )hit her causing several CPS investigations. Thank God the truth always prevails and to this day I've never had an actual open case. I am at my wit's end. The law seems to always be on the child's side and never takes in consideration the nightmare it is to try to get through day by day dealing with constant disrespect. What can I do?

I am a single mother to a 8 year old son who is consistently stealing, and usually it's food related items such as candy, junk food, drinks. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, but is not on medication. I work for my church, and therefore are very involved in activitiesMore with the church and learning about God and the Bible. Therefore he knows that this behavior is not acceptable. I'm getting very frustrated, not sure what to do any more. I have spanked, taken privileges away, kept him from outtings, made him spend his money to replace items, time out, etc. I have no idea how to handle this anymore as he is now taking things from people at school. Any suggestions?

my 12 year old son has stolen from us twice in the last few months, once it was 25 euro and this morning, 55 euro.... His reason is 'because I don't get pocket money' we give him pocket money when he merits it and in fact he was given someMore money a few days ago to spend on some treats. This is the boy who has a pretty comfortable life.. we travel to nice places and he gets a lot of nice things from us and the family, so he is by no means hard done by. He is also an amazing liar and as a result is seeing a psychologist, who says we need to have more trust in him, give him more freedom as a reward and to give him the occasional money for himself, to prove that we trust him etc. My son is very fond of saying he is so sorry and 'can we start over' but his behaviour continues.. I am at my wits end and do not know what more we can do... he has had his tablet/Ipod taken so many times and has been sent to his room etc. but it makes NO difference whatsoever. He is a good kid on the inside, has a big kind heart, but this behaviour is making me feel so resentful and angry towards him... please help..

Hi, my 15-year-old was with a friend who steals and my kid went along with it. They were caught before they ever left the store. I am still sitting on the punishment because her step-dad and I do not agree. I think 4 weeks without a phone and coming homeMore straight after school is sufficient- he also thinks she should not be aloud to go to Prom which is about 4 to 5 weeks away... Any tips or suggestions? I do not want to go against him, but I also think this is too harsh- she has never stolen before and I think her experience will make it unlikely to do again... Thanks!

Hi.. I have an 11 yr old son and I just caught him stealing red handed, but been wondering why my purse always short on funds. Money missing all the time at home and he always denied it until today. I saw him at the back of the house talkingMore to kids about money and he was about to handed out 500 pesos. That's a lot of money here then later on that day after we caught some kids from other side of the fence, they said that they also took Foreign Currencies like Dollars...So then we check and found that we lost 1,500 US Dollars.and a lot of pesos.. Rough estimate is 2,700 US Dollars.I took them to the police and now still the investigation is on going.. I am real disappointed I don't know how to feel, as we really look after our son the best we can, provide him only the best home,clothes education etc. Me and my husband always try to make a happy loving environment for him. We just don't know why its still not enough for him to Steal and lie so much to us..Please help me understand where did we go wrong...Thank you

I am asking! Since I have a 11 year old son and he bought an xbox without my permission, and I didnt know, I asked the bank to track down who it was, can he go to jail? I cant find any answers..

My son 25 years old. Single no kids. Using drugs and steal alot t home. A court case running. I throw him out because its nit the first tine. My heart broken and i want to help him but at moment cant take him back home. Please give advuce.

My daughter is 8 and we have been staying with my boyfriend for the past 6 months. She a very caring, respectful, helpful and lovely young lady. But for the last couple of weeks my boyfriend noticed he was missing $20. He just thought he miss counted money. Then last night he was missing another $20. Now we where getting concerned. We thought another adult stole the money. Until last that night I checked her wallet and $40 was in there. We spoke with her and she said she was jealous my boyfriend's daughter had more money then her and she was holding it to show her and that she wasn't going to spend it. I let her know how upset and disappointed we where in her and made her apologize to my boyfriend. Now my boyfriend says he is not mad and does not think any less of her. I just don't know what to do next and what her punishment or make up to him should be.

Very very sad Mother ?

My 12yr old daughter has stolen £40 out my purse when I spoke to her she said she spent it in the canteen at school how does ant one spend £40.00 in one day or even £20. Each day as I only noticed 2 day the money went missing IMore thought I has miss counted but I counted all my penny's. And 10ps and 5ps and all the ten ps went there was 20.00 in 10p then I counted my purse last night which was 65.00 then this morning after she left for school I only had 45.00 don't know what to do all she keeps.saying is she spent it in the canteen

My son stole keys. Lots of them. I found a set with a name tag and number. I rang the number. The owner had lost his job after the apartments he minded were broken into. He called to my house and asked me to report the incident to clear his name. I did this. My son was on CCTV with his friends. The police gave my son a caution with myself present. I didn't bring him up to behave as he did that day. He was as rude and "stupid" in his manner as he could manage to make out it was ultimately my fault. Damages needed to be paid as they had trashed the vacant apartment and as he was under 18 the cost fell to me. Himself and his friends were already stealing from me whilst I was out working.

He rarely attended school although I drove him there (often with his friends who I'd have fed breakfast to). He'd walk out as soon as I drove off.The police would call, tell me to collect him from the station.I'd leave work and collect him, he'd jump out at the first junction or hit me. The school called in the social services who appointed him a worker. I had changed the locks on the house to stop me being burgled every day but they insisted I give the keys back to him. I had to work. They went through everything. Stuck chewing gum above the headboard in every bedroom.

I was young when I had him to a very abusive man I thought loved me.It took me 3 years to escape this man and I told no lies when he was given no access or parental responsibility for my son. This is the man that tried to drown him in the bath at 6 weeks old, never mind what he did to me. I got out, moved country, got a job, house, car, traveled many countries with my son and supported us fully.I hadn't banked on there being facebook. I don't do facebook etc.I thankfully met my life partner (the one that you have to wait for).We set up home and put my son into his chosen college course which he left within 2 weeks.We offered him a job within the company, driving lessons,a car. We told him on his 18th birthday that if he wouldn't help us he would have to go (money provided via birthday for flat).He moved in with foreign girls for a while. Told them he was an alcoholic that needed help(he couldn't drink a pint).I constantly got calls for money. The answer was work for it and I'll give it to you.He returned to the area and again I offered his bed in return for help. He visited me for a weekend with a girlfriend.I felt sorry for her, like looking at myself with his father.He rang me a week later saying he was getting new "stuff". I asked him how he could afford it.He said he'd been smart.My partner came in at this moment to tell me he needed me to look at something. There on the PC was an article published by a leading national newspaper and a podcast of an interview on the local radio.My son had signed on to indigogo(an american donations site)and in order to get as much publicity to his cause had contacted the media. 32,000 people read my son's story before I had it taken down. Thousands left terrible comments about me. The radio station broadcast the 20min interview twice and released a podcast. He said I'd made him homeless at 15 and how he slept under bridges etc. and would have attended school etc. if he could have done. All his life he got away with playing the victim at my expense - without me even knowing.Do you know how many expensive clothes I put on his back, how I gave him what he wanted/needed?And even now I don't begrudge him that as that's what I needed to do for me.He knew my weaknesses as I knew his. Having been manipulated I didn't do it to him.I told him I was proud of him.He repaid me by going to every person I ever knew (friend or foe) and killing me.He said he wants me dead, threatened to do it in detail- I am to be despised as a failure.I should have sued the newspaper/radio. I didn't.I would now but it's too late-it took me this long to process it all.I had a position where you'd recognise me-now I'm afraid.I've been treated terribly by strangers who believe him. I never told him how bad his father had been.Children are two halves of their parents and I didn't want him to carry what his father had done. I did however think that in the future he would need to know his father. I just said that I wanted him to be able judge for himself when the time came and need nothing.I hadn't planned on there being facebook.His half siblings and himself started chatting and this could well have been contributory to the problems.I blame myself, have no friends (they're just nosy and believe him as it's a better story) and hate my son. That's a lot of stuff inside a mild mannered human being like me.If I could go back I would never have had him.I'd have given him up to social services rather than mind and lie for him.He is still torturing me via family and past friends.Facebook allows him to say this stuff and there natural reaction is to feel sorry for him. This is his method. I did love my son, did my best (I am only human).

When teaching your child to make amends with the person they stole from, aren't you just teaching them it's ok as long as they say I'm sorry? And if you make them work for money they stole from you, aren't you just telling them, well as long as you doMore a chore then you can take what you want. This is all well and good but I believe there needs to be a much bigger impact as far as consequences go.

My daughter stole 30k what do I do also the money was stolen from her and she continues to steal

I jave a 16 yr old who steals and lies about it even when caught we have tried many different punishments and he still continues this behavior and it almost seams like he don't care that its wrong or if it hurts us any advice with this would be great

Advice.... Our 8 y/o daughter took a digital camera from her father's house to school and then to my house and hid it.

Straight A student, has her own Fuji mini8 camera. Very kind and we'll rounded child and her father and I are friends and co-parent very well together. Why on earth would she sneak his camera? My only thought is she is very interested in photography since she got her instant camera. But she could have asked and borrowed his!! She is sad and remorseful, and knows she has disappointed us. But I'm just not sure what her punishment should be.... As for now I've taken all technology and Christmas presents away. She may quietly read or draw.

My 24 year old that is more like a 15 year old mentally ....... I caught red handed in my purse.....I've known for years but could never catch him. Now what?

My almost 13 year old daughter has been stealing money from myself and my fiance for over a year now, before she was caught, he was constantly acusing her, and I would defend her because neither of us caught her in the act.

He decided to count his money right before dinner one day, she disappeared during dinner and money went missing from our room, he said it was her, I didn't believe it and it caused a huge argument. I confronted her, she denied it to the point of tears, until her sisters brought the money they found to me. After that she changed her story and said she was acting out because she I won't let her see her dad, but the thing is, she has been caught stealing since before I left her father, so I don't believe the excuse she has given. I can not do anything about her father, he is absent her life, and having him in her life right now may not be a great idea anyway, he has a dependency problem, he stole from me for several years while we were together and would take her with him when he sold my stuff, I try not to compare the two, but it's more than fustrating.

Needless to say, the stealing is causing a strain on my new relationship, my fiance wants me to get a handle on it before it get worse and I agree, but aside from talking to her and explaining why it's wrong and trying to understand why she does it, I have no idea what to do.

My 13 year old son stold a very expensive necklace from me. I had been looking for that necklace for over 2wks. I asked my son had he seen the necklace and he looked me straight in the eyes and said no. I went to his basketball game and aMore girl that he likes comes up to me to say hello, and she was wearing my necklace. When I questioned her she said my son got it for her. When I confronted my son he denied stealing it. He said he found it outside. Which I know is a lie. On top of that he walked out of the home during mid discussion and was missing for 2 hrs. Please advise....

My step-son is constantly stealing from me in the past her usednmy credit card for games. I somehow lost $200 out of my wallet after he was the only one around my purse. Today, $40 grew legs and left my purse after I got outMore of the car to play basketball in the driveway with my kids... And of course my stepson was still in the car and then eventually comes to play with us... Later on I go to Walmart to by my kids some stuff and I ho to reach for the money I knew was in there but was now gone... I let my husband know that my money was missing but then he puts the whole house on punishment for it. However, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my stepson took my money.. When I fianlly came back home and go into the house for the first time since the morning for the evening $40 miraculously appears in a purse on my bed that I wasnt carrying today.... When I talked to my hubby about talking to my stepson about this matter my husband fussed and said what eles do you want me to do... that I already didn't do. Afterwards, I told my husband to just forget about it but truly I am frustrated and discussed abiut this whole matter to the point I can't even look at my son.

I went through a very bad Divorce where my EX stole Money,Watches,Guns,and so on.

Now aftter my Divorce,I caught my 12years old Son stealing my expencive Watch from my Room.

He said sorry,but need advice how to deal with this situation

Thanks

This morning, my 12 year old daughter asked me for $3 so she could attend a talent show at school. I told her I did not have any cash on me, which I did not. She threw a hissy fit stating she was going to have to sit in the library if she didnt go to the talent show. I told her that wasnt a bad idea anyways, because she had brought home bad grades and could use the extra time to study. She walked away. We went on with our daily morning routine. I walked in the bathroom to get hair gel for my son. The door wasnt shut of the way so there was no need for me to knock. My daughter was in there however. She was messing with something in her hoodie pocket. I asked what was in her pocket and she replied nothing, I am brushing my teeth. I said, that I had seen her playing with something in her pocket, and i would like to know what it was. She still denied. I walked towards her to stick my hand in her pocket and she jumped in the shower and started swinging at me. I backed away and I demanded she give me what was in her pocket right that instant. She reached in and handed me a necklace. This necklace was previously in my wallet. It wasnt even my necklace. I child of the sports team had asked me to hang on to it, during a practice, and left before I could give it back. I couldnt think of the right words to say. I asked where she got it from and she said I dont know. I said, well I know this was in my wallet, I had just put it there last night. I walked out of the bathroom to go get my wallet from my purse, only my wallet was not in my purse. I returned to the bathroom and asked my daughter where my wallet was. She said she didnt know. I said I know you know where my wallet is, please go and get it right now. She walked into her room and pulled it out of a cushion of a couch in her room. I told her taking and hiding my wallet was wrong for so many reasons, but did she understand that I need my wallet in order to drive? In order to go to the grocery store to buy us milk for the morning? In order to take her brother to the doctor that afternoon? I walked away to go check my wallet to make sure nothing was missing. She goes into her room and comes out with her backpack and instrument for band. I asked to see both items before she left. She tried running out the back door. I was able to grab her backpack long enough to slow her down. She dropped her instrument and played out this drama filled falling to the ground scene. I picked up her instrument and asked for her backpack. She refused again. I told her that I would have her instrument and as soon as I was able to look inside both that and her backpack, I would give it back. She said she will never let me see inher backpack and left for the bus. I searched her instrument case, but found nothing. She came back inside with no backpack and asked for her instrument, stating she was going to get an F. I told her she could have her instrument as soon as I was able to look in her backpack. She went back outside. I watched her through the blinds as she proceeded to take a few items out of her backpack and then head back towards the house with the backpack. She was heading for the garage door, so i went out the front door. I walked over to the items she had thrown out and brought them inside. I searched through them quickly and found nothing. It was a Tshirt and a notebook that had about 20 pieces of paper in in with multiple sentences stating, "I will not talk in class". Was that all she was hidng from me? I have no idea. I opened the door and told her to come get her stuff and set it outside the door. The bus came and went and when I walked outside later, her stuff was still sitting by the front door.

Now that I sit here and think about it, the more worried I become. I am 32 weeks pregnant and have been very forgetful. There have been times throughout this pregnancy that I thought I had cash in my wallet, but it turned out that i did not. Now, I am starting to think I havent been loosing my mind and being forgetful. I am starting to think that she has in fact been taking it. There was one time about a month ago, I thought I had $40 in my wallet. I dont keep cash on me that often so spending cash is something I wouldnt normally forget. Same child brought a permission slip home for some kind of trip that i needed to pay for. I went to go get the money out of my wallet and there was only $20 there. I froze and tried to think what i would of done with it. I told her that I was sorry, but I thought I had the money, but I did not. Later that weekend, we were at a festival volunteering at a booth. She asked if she could walk around with friends and I said that was fine (it was a very small location on a military base so I was not worried). She came back and asked if she could buy a funnel cake. I told her I did not have any cash on me, that she would need to ask her dad. She pulled out $17 from her pocket and said, I dont need money, I have some. I asked where she got it from. She said she found a $20 on the ground and she bought her and her friend a soda. I guess I made a funny look at her, because she then said you can have it if you want. I dont need money. I asked her if that was the $20 that went missing out of my wallet the other day and she said no, she just found that on the ground. I had no proof it was my money. I did keep it though. I also made her repay the $3 that was missing from the $20 she "found" but doing extra chores.... which was like asking her to walk on hot coals.

Her brother also has a change jar that my husband and I add money to when we find change. He collects it. He likes looking at all the different dates and styles of each coin and is definitely not something he would spend, he is 6 anyways so its not like he can go to the store by myself. When I told my husband what happened today, he immediately brought up my sons change jar. I went to look in it, and sure enough there isnt much left in there. Mainly just pennies left.

I am unsure how to handle this but know something needs to be done ASAP.

We have recently had problems with my son lying and sneaking. He wants to play video games, but has lost the privilege due to poor grades and behavior. Though if we do not watch him on the computer (doing his homework), he will be playing a game. We have deletedMore games from his computer and he reinstalls them. I recently found out that he took my debit card to buy a game. He had already lost games and his phone. He has to use his computer for school. Idk what to do. I'm so sad that he went as far as to steal from me.

My 17 year old grandson stays with us most of the time. He is an honor student, has been in Marching band all through high school, he's taking college courses while in his last year of high school, planning on attending college after high school, has a very high IQ,More has been in track, swimming and other activities in HS. and has both his mom and dad and a younger sister in his life as well as me and his grandpa. That's the good part...now the problem....for several years he has been playing a popular battle game online with a group of friends..all the time! A couple times he knew what my paypal login was and ordered stuff for this game. I found out because I check my accounts online every day. I changed my password. Now I have started to find money missing from my purse. I keep close count of my money!! First time it was $100.00 then a couple days ago another $100.00 gone. Last night I got $100.00 from the ATM. I counted it again this morning...I went nowhere..spent none of it but then my grandson came here after school while I was in the bathroom. I came out..said hi..he was playing that game on my computer already and then I had a funny feeling and checked my purse..sure enough this time $20.00 was missing. I felt sick to my stomach to think he was doing this to me. I asked him a couple days before when the second $100.00 went missing if he might have seen $100.00 laying around because I was missing it from my purse. He said no and said wow how did you loose $100.00? Today when the $20.00 was missing I went in and said I know you took my money..he denied it and said he would not steel from me and that if he needed money he would ask me for it. I made him empty his pockets and checked his book bag and checked his car...nothing. I told him money just doesn't get up and walk away and I had just check it this morning and the $100.00 was all there. He is the only other person in the house and right after he came...$20.00 is missing. He is either a very good liar or I am going crazy. It kills me to think he would steel and look me in the eye and say he didn't. My gut feeling says he lied. I am hoping he won't stay away from us now that I have accused him even though for some reason he didn't act very upset when I did. His parents don't have much money and we are retired and get by with a fixed income from SS and a small pension. My husband didn't take the money from my purse! Any advice would be appreciated.

Hi my 16 year son steals everything in the house, things keep going missing, we try and hide money etc but he searches the whole house. My husbands phone has gone missing now. Some advice would be great as I don't no what to do. We haven't got a greatMore relationship and no matter how much I try nothing seems to work. I also know he smokes cannabis do I know where all the money is going. It's hard to confront him about it as I'm not 100 % he has stolen things but I know in my heart he has.

my daughters son stole her id ran up lot of money on her she got arrested for idenity theft shes beside herself i dont know how to help

Hi my 15yo son has been smoking dope l caught him last week and again this week. I have grounded him and took away all the gadgets. And he was told the only place he would go would be school and partime job. I also witheld his pay as punishment because l'm assuming his buying drugs with that. I had a big money tin hidden in my room which was full and today decided to count as l was going to make a deposit for xmas lunch for us. It was gone..... l'm pretty confident it was 15yo old! I'm so upset . I dont know how lm going to deal with it when he gets home from school can you help? Older brother did same sorts of things and ended up doing a stint in juvenile jail! God l so dont think l could cope going through the same thing with 15 yo.

Devasted S

Hi

My son is 13 and now in his 2nd year of high school - last year he stole 3 mobile phones from school. I put this down to him not seeing Dad ( although has a great relationship with step dad of 9 years) and also the fact I have not given him a mobilephone yet. I told him to stay out of trouble and I wouldpurchase a phone for him but a couple of months later he took his best friends Ipod (his broke a few months ago). He has a younger sister at 11 and we all are worried sick about him. I work in Family support and I am at a loss. I can't trust my son and tis is begining to put a strain on our relationship. He has now been charged with the police over taking the ipod - I'm terrified he will do it again to the point I'm hardly eating or sleeping.

Can you help with a short bit of advice

kind regards

streesed mum

my 14 year old son stole £250 from my husband last year... we discovered the reason and sorted it out. He assured us that this wouldnt happen again. The other day my husband discovered that £30 was missing. When questioned my son owned up to taking it saying he didntMore know why he did it and he was sorry. I dont know what to do re punishment? my mum thinks i should take him to the police station to scare him, my husband isnt offering any advice (it his not his son and he doesnt discipline him very often) i feel such disappointment and pressure. I want to deter him but do not know what the best option is......? he seems sorry but he was last time he needs to appreciate how serious this is.....

Hi,

I am a single parent and my son that is now 21 has been caught about 2 years ago that he stole my camera and cell phone and sold it. At first he denied, until I showed him my proof. Then he only said sorry, and that he would replace it. I got a new camera, which I do not know where he got it from, but not the same value or as good as what I had.

I have lost all my jewelry, my late fathers stuff of value that was in the safe. My mothers laptop. I have no power tools, like grinders, drills etc left in my garage. He even told me that after I had a polygraph test done that the person who conducted the test made a mistake. Out of 3 kids tested, his was the only report that showed that he was not being truthful.

He has obviously perfected his way of getting hold of the stuff, without being caught. Things were going fine for about a year or so. And last night I realized that my one laptop has gone missing. My first suspicion is my son, and I feel really bad to say this, although I would like to believe him when he says he had nothing to do with it, I do still think it was him. I also have one other person that I suspect, but its not my child and trying to speak to one of the parents might kill a relationship just for asking if the child knows anything.South Africa is not one of the most friendly places for a young person to end up in jail. Cause I am at the point where I would accuse him and have him locked up to teach him a lesson, but what if this time it really wasn't him?

My son is 23 and has stole from us and brother thru debit cards but it is hard to figure how to cope with this. trying to again set rules and figure why do it..from his brother , he used it to gamble

my stepdaughter steal everything from snacks to pens but she steals mostly from me how do I stop because I'm tried of it

Someone has stolen from us, but there are 3 children (16, 12, 10) and no one will admit to it. What would you do in this type of situation. It has happened multiple times.

My 19 year old son has been stealing from us for years. Initially he stole money and jewelry. We got him into a residential treatment program. He was doing drugs (this was when he was 16.) He was in the program 6 months and they asked him to leave. HeMore never bought into the program. They said he needed more intense Psychiatric care. The hospital released him saying he was fine. He is on medication now for mood disorder and depression. He is on it as a stipulation for being allowed to live at home, as he was off his medication for quite awhile. He dropped out of school. he hangs around with kids who do nothing everyday, but hang out and smoke marijuana or do other drugs. He was involved in the juvenile justice system. They never followed through on anything. He spent 3 nights in detention. At 18 he entered adult court, but for misdemeanor things. He goes to behavioral health court due to his diagnosis of behavior disorder, ADHD, anxiety disorder, oppositonal defiant disorder. He is supposed to take anger management, substance abuse and domestic violence classes. He goes to these sometimes. he never buys in. He continues to steal from us, even though we have locked things away. He blames everything on us. We were not strict enough, we gave into him all the time, we spoiled him. When he became 18 he decided he didn't have to listen to us. But he doesn't work, so he has no money, unless he steals from us. He has probably stolen over $30,000 worth of money, jewelry, electronics. He is verbally abusive. Recently he kicked in a solid wood door with a deadbolt to our closet and stole coin collections and other money. He feels no remorse. We love him, but we cannot go on much longer. He has no where to go if we kick him out of the house, but we can't keep being verbally assaulted and stolen from. We don't know what to do. He was adopted at birth. We have very little history...we know she did drugs while pregnant with him. It is so sad for us all. I wish I could help him..but he doesn't want help..he just wants to take or for us to give him whatever he wants. He has been in counseling many times for years--he never really was a participant. He refuses to talk to anyone now. It's like he's 19 going on 5. All he wants is immediate reinforcement and instant gratification. He lies about everything, even when there is no reason to lie. We are just about at the end of our rope. It will "kill" me to kick him out, but we cannot go on. The verbal abuse is constant. I have asked him to leave previously, but then he calls and cries, says he has no where to go. Please can he come home. I always give in... We set boundaries and he breaks them. So he knows he can keep making the same poor choices and nothing really will happen. I have been to counseling and learning to set boundaries and stop enabling. We have gotten the police involved a few times..but that is never a good choice. It ends up punishing us. We pay court costs and fines and he is thrown into the system, with some consequences, but not much. I know no one can give me any really good answers. It just feels good to write this out and to know maybe someone will read it. Just wondering if anyone else has experiencing anything similar would be (in a way) comforting. Sometimes we feel like an island..we are floating and lost. Thanks for listening.

Hi

i am father of 2 daughters, i am living abroad, my elder daughter(7) started stealing money from mother's wallet, unfortunately my wife has punished her physically, she took that money to school and used some amount and gave back the remaining amount through her younger sister. Kindly advise in this situation, how should i deal her.

My son has been stealing from us and his brother for about 6 years on and off. The only piece of jewelry I have left is my wedding ring and that's because I never take it off. He's stolen games, money, and gaming consoles from his brother. He recently took my card. He even has the audacity to say that he didn't steal anything. I can't have him in my home any longer but as a mother I fear for his safety. It's not fair to my younger son either and I can't live with the stress anymore

I just don't know what to do any longer. My heart is broken. I've put up with A LOT of bad behavior from him and keep bailing him out. At this point, I'm beginning to not even like him anymore.

If someone's not on drugs than why else would they continue to break their family's heart time after time after time. Is he a sociopath?

I have a 13 year old daughter that has been stealing from me. She doesn't steal her dads stuff just mine. When I confront him about it he says in front of her that she didn't take my stuff. He backs her I can prove it there is only theMore 3 of us that live in the house of course I am not taking my own things and if he isn't taken them then that leaves her. He lets her get away with things because she threatens to move to her Moms. Any suggestions on how I can handle this situation?

I need help, My daughter is 11, this year has been a tough one when we lost her step dad and her biological dad drops in and out when he feels and stirs up her emotions making her angry and resentful.

This last few months she started stealing at first I noticed a pound here or there, then one day she stole chocolate from a shop, I made her take it back and apologise but the shop keeper wasn't particularly interested, since then the money has continued to disappear and she brought shoes home from school, when she finally admitted taking them she said she saw them under a cloakroom bench at the end of school and liked them so brought them home, Obviously I've had talk after take, I return the things she takes when I catch her, I tried grounding, removing favourite items, no spend, early bedtime etc etc and nothing is getting through.

I've been contemplating calling the police now and letting them do what they do but I'm torn, I don't want to give her a reputation and waste the police time but I'm at my wits ends.

Does anyone have any constructive advice or experience???

Our 12 yr old daughter was told as she and a friend staying over for the weekend was dropped off at the movies to bring back the change and only spend $6 on icecream. Not only did she and the friend spend the change but, now they are playing the "I didn't know" game. I consider this as stealing. Any suggestions on appropriate punishment? I feel not receiving her earned allowance for 2weeks isn't enough because, this involves; morels, values, trust, principles and laws.

PLEASE HELP

Sincerely

1st timer

My older daughter who now is 18 years old starting stealing money from us three years ago. Last year she broke into our safe while I was out of town working and stole about eight thousand dollars all of my wife's jewelry also then called DHS on us and reportedMore we beat her to get out of the house so she did not have to face the consequences of what she did. After many weeks of having to prove that what she said about us DHS let her move back into our house we forgave her but kept an eye on her actions and set rules which she started breaking within in the first week. Two months ago she went into job corps and went to Idaho for training came back home two weeks ago for summer break we let her stay here thinking she had changed but when she left this week I went into my safe box to get some money to fix my car and found that three hundred dollars missing wife found that two of her paychecks missing along with many of our electronics gone I want to press charges this time would this be wrong of me?

I have a 16 year old daughter, who is a good kid for the most part. Besides the typical teenage stuff, she is a great kid. Now, my husband keeps telling me that money keeps coming up missing from his sock drawer. He doesn't out right say its my daughter,More but we know that I haven't taken anything. We have asked my daughter about it, and she says she hasn't taken anything. Ive never had problems with her stealing in the past, but I know its been hard for her having a step father. The thing that confuses me, is that we give my daughter a nice size allowance...she has plenty of money of her own. Stealing would make no sense. I sometimes even think to myself- is my husband sure he really has money missing? Is he being truthful? He has mentioned this on about 4 different occasions& he continues to put his money in the same place. If you feel as though your money is being stolen, why would u put it in the same place? I don't know what to think, any advice? I just bought a spy camera for our bedroom, hoping this will shed some light.

OK, so I live with my boyfriend and his 17 (almost 18 year old son). We are both in our 50's. My boyfriends wife died four years ago in a tragic accident that happened in front of both of them, so I know this kid has issues. He refuses to go to counseling, and his father will not follow up and make him go. I keep stressing the point that once he is 18, making him go will no longer be an option. His father does a lot to compensate for their loss, I understand all this. I am sure of the empathy he has for his son, due to the loss of his mother.

At the age of 18, he has 5 credits towards graduation. I I have finally convinced my boyfreind to put him into a school with other kids that have issues and can not function in a normal high school setting. We signed him up last week, but he doesnt know this yet. He does not go to school, if he goes he skips several hours. He is in trouble with the police, has been caught with marijuana in his possession 3 times now.

Because of his families "name" the police let him go the first two times. The last time he was caught stealing a bunch of my jewerly and personal items. I found these items in his room before he was able to sell them. Instead of dealing with it or talking about it, he stormed out of the house on his bicycle, (his car had been taken away) He went to his father business, broke in and stole a vehicle, went to his sisters, told them a bunch of crap, stole money from her then got arrested sitting on the side of the road smoking pot. He now has to call in every day to the probabation hotline, take random drug tests, and go to a 6 week counseling session in the summer. Not enough if you ask me.

So this kid has everything handed to him on a silver platter, from vehicles, to money, to phones, and computers and video games and clothes, you name it this kid gets it. He has taken our vehicles while we are sleeping, he has totaled my boyfriends truck two times in the past six months, recklessly and intentionally doing doughnuts while he was drunk, and hitting trees. He received one ticket, no license suspension or driving classes because of it.

Two weeks ago he stole mine and totaled it in a six foot ditch, his Dad paid the deductible to have all of them fixed or replaced.

Along with all the screaming and yelling and the talking, the extra chores, the paying back/returning of items he has stolen, the grounding, we took away his computer because he would stay up all night playing games and sleep in school. He threw his phone in the road so he did not have to answer his fathers call, so no more phone( that was the second time his I phone got ran over by a car...) We took away his vehicle, and I drove him 20 miles to school and back everyday to make sure he went to class for six months...he still skipped. He did chores, but only if you asked him 10 times.

We have very much conveyed the fact that we do not like the person he has become, and that we like him as a person, but we do not like the person he has become, and the actions he has chosen to take will no longer be tolerated. So he lost everything, except his ability to drive to school. He now waits until we retire, steals my laptop and my phone to talk with his friends and play games while we are sleeping. last week we caught him. Our bedroom door has a dead bolt on it, because a simple lock was not enough to detour the child. The office now has a dead bolt on it as well. We hide our money, our credit cards, our prescriptions and our Liquor Collection in safes and lock boxes. I stay home to watch the child because he can not be trusted her for 5 minutes without doing some more stupid than he did the last time. He refuses to get a job, and his father has stopped giving him money for gas and lunch since he wont go to school anyways.

Fast forward, to the day before yesterday. He came home from school and stated he was taking his speakers to a friends house, or so he said. It felt wrong, I called his father and asked if it was ok. I was outside and watched everything he put in his truck, or so I thought. After he left I went upstairs to the loft to find that he had also taken the family's (its mine, I let him use it...) Gaming system along with about 200 games, all the controllers, everything was gone. . His father found him at his friends, and apparently he had taken it to a friends moms house, and she took it to a pawn shop and pawned it for him, and gave him the money. His Dad bought it back from the Pawn Shop.

When they returned, I told them both that I would no longer stay in this house with a drug addict and a criminal. That he would have to go into rehab and counseling this summer because I am not going to sit here and babysit an 18 year old child. He started screaming and packed his stuff and moved out for the second time. I know I should of called the police yesterday, but we are so stressed and on edge that is is hard to think clearly anymore around here. His father made sure he had all his belongings, we gave him the Ramen Noodles and the Lucky Charms and took his house key and wished him well as he raced out of the drive way.

Neither or us have slept since he left....he is a good kid, or used to be, and I hate to see this happen to his life.

But honestly, this has to come to an end. ~Sighs~ Now we are waiting for the next phone call from the police.

Any advice on where to go from here would be incredibly helpful.

Im a single mother of twins, a boy and a girl 7 years old and i live with my parents and siblings. My boy has been caught stealing from my sister's wallet several times and w have sat him down to explain how bad stealing is. He steals coins usuallyMore and buys snacks and sweets.Everyone has tried talking to him and i sometimes punish him by giving the sister goodies and not giving him but he doesn't seem bothered. Now since the sister knows the brother steals she called him yesterday to show him some money that was in my brother's drawer. he took the money and went and bought candy and they shared. I just found out from the nanny who had asked them were they got the money and they said mummy gave us. im really stressed and don't know how to handle this situation.My mom had suggested i take them to the police so maybe they can explain to them the consequences of stealing though i don't really know if its a good idea.Please help

My adoptive son who is now 10 yrs old has been stealing from my purse, friend's house and possibly classmates. I know for fact because I caught him with my money today and after talking to him he admitted to trying to open our safe as well as stealing severalMore times from us. I am almost positive a few months ago that he was stealing from school or classmates. He lied and said he was finding it but it was every week and rather large amounts for a fourth grader. In total he "found" $84 in 4-5 weeks. We adopted him and his sister when he was 3 years old and she was 5. They both lie and she was caught stealing from a store as well as from me a few months ago. I don't know what to do with my son and what the consequence should be for the thefts? He is grounded and has to complete all chores as well. Any help would greatly be appreciated. I think we should start some family therapy but I am very worried about my son, he was emotionless while telling me about all he had stolen. Only time he cried was when he was told about being grounded and I will tell u that is not the norm for my son. He can be very emotional over very small things but not this . Please help!!

My son is about 15 years old, and he is school going boy where his annual result remains outstanding but he caught earlier steal the money. His mother brought him with red-handed in front of me and he admitted that he will not do again. Now, upon missing of bigMore amount his mother suspected on him and what we got from his belongings two mobile phones. One is SAMSUNG and other is HTC. Furthermore, his school teacher asked on Parent-Teacher meeting if we use to give him handsome cash as he throw a party to all teachers on selection of Dy-Prefect. I am worried and do not know how to deal with him. Please help.

Hi I think I need help with my child.

This is the first time he has ever done a thing like this. He is 13 and stole 50 dollars from his grandmother. At first we did not know a thing but then we realised that 50 bucks was gone. We suspect him but I don't know if it's him. What should I Do.

@anonymous

I can understand why you and your family would be upset. You brother stole a lot

of money, which will probably have a big impact on the entire family. Since we

are a website aimed at helping people who are in a direct parenting role, we

are limited in the scope of advice we can offer you in your situation. There is

a website you may not be aware of that could possibly offer you some insight

for dealing with your specific situation.http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/home.aspx

is a website focused on helping teens and young adults work through challenges

they are facing in their family, at school, or in other areas of their life.

They offer many different ways of contacting them for support, like an online

forum, online chat, text/e-mail help, and a call in service. I encourage you to

check out their site to see if they would be able to offer you any guidance. We

appreciate you writing in and wish you all the best of luck moving forward.

Take care.

I have an adult child who has severely abused our trust and has done several things to get money out of us any way possible. This child appears to feel no remorse or no consequences for the action they chose. I am so hurt and angry and don't know howMore to handle the situation any longer. There are now grandchildren involved and I am worried about the future impact on them. My child is facing legal issues and possible jail/prison time. This pattern of inappropriate spending has been going on for several years. I had thought it had gotten better but is much worse than it has ever been before. I am treated worse than a trash bag unless money is needed for whatever inappropriate cause. This child seeks out people with money and forms relationships with them only to use them. Any advice would be much appreciated. I am so utterly disappointed.

This website is a godsend for my husband and me. We are so disturbed about the behavior our 13 year old son is exhibiting by stealing. Right now, he is only stealing from other family members within the home but our fear is that if this behavior isn't eradicated soon,More this will grow to be a much larger issue that will involve law enforcement. Like some of the other parents on this board, our son always denies that he ever did anything but we know it's him. He recently stole my husband's debit card to purchase a game online. My husband didn't even realize he had the debit card and only found it while looking for money that was missing. Our daughter was missing her debit card and eventually ordered another one. When my husband found his debit card and money, he also found our daughter's debit card. He never used the card but that is still quite unacceptable. He has consequences but he tries to act like nothing phases him or he doesn't care. There is no TV in his room, we've taken his phone, and his tablet. My husband has made him do manual labor but nothing seems to work. Last evening I told him that the next time money goes missing, we were going to start filing police reports and that seemed to shake him up a bit but you never know with him. I am going to be contacting friends of ours who are cops and trying to get their assistance. Any advice would be helpful.

Our son, who is 15, continues to steal money from us...and keeps denying it....only to admit it after long drawn out (emotionally exhausting) arguments. In the past, I have taken items from him that he buys with the money, but often, there is nothing to return. He doesn't "need" anything,More and has more material things than most kids. We take away privileges, and it does not phase him. He is now getting into our safe, and stealing money that isn't even ours...but other siblings. He tells us all the time he is sorry.....but the stealing continues. We cannot leave him home for one minute alone....afraid he will be looking for money. He has a part time job, and is given some of his money to spend on whatever he wants, the rest is put into savings. We are at our wits end. How can we change this behavior? Help me please.

I have a 13 yr old son that stole 400 dollars from me. Went and spent it all. I was able to take back a watch and some clothes, however two expensive items he bought from the pawn shop at 120.00 a piece. Non refundable. I just don't know whatMore to do. He lives with no consequences, he just does. When punished he screams and says he hates this place. Punched holes in walls and doors. Please help.

I have a 14 year old son who took my credit card and used it at convenience stores and McDonald's to buy food and drinks for him and his friends I expect they were high should I call the police.

My daughter is 9 years old she was caught stealing from her grandmother's purse the first time she made her brother who is 6 do it but this time her grandmother caught her this has occurred at her dads house he says her behavior is getting worse that she doesn'tMore listen n gets mad over everything n crys she spends most of her time there I usually have her 3/4 days out of the wk when she's here she's good she has her moments but not the way he describes her I want to find a solution to help her and for it to set in not just punish her since this isn't the first time I feel if we don't figure this out it can become worse as time passes Idk how to go about this with out her feeling she's the bad one n she's always in trouble .. the last time was before Christmas so in my house there was no gifts in her dads house there was but since it happened again I'm not sure how to go about it .

My son is 15 and my daughter is 14. My son has gone into our bedroom while we are at work and taken things; i.e. a pocket knife that belonged to my husband's grandfather, a bowie knife, collectible coins, jewelry belonging to my husband, and other random items. My daughterMore takes my clothing and make-up. I've explained to her that she's welcome to use/borrow anything I have, but she needs to ask so I will know the whereabouts of items. She continues to take without asking. We caught my son because he texted pictures of the items to his friend. We talked to him, followed the advice given, all to no avail. We are considering putting a lock on our door, but I'm not completely at ease with this as I have always been an "open door" parent. If there's anything they wanted or needed, it's up for discussion and I don't want them to feel like criminals. Things are strained enough with the "teenage years" occurrences, but hunting down our belongings is getting tired. Do you recommend parents putting a lock on their bedroom door?

Nick Law

I am sorry to hear you are facing

such troubles at home. Since we are a website aimed at helping parents develop

more effective ways of responding to their child’s acting out behavior, we are

unfortunately unable to offer you guidance in your situation. There is a

website available you may not be aware of that is aimed at helping adolescents,

teens, and young adults who are dealing with difficult issues. http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/home.aspx

offers many different ways of accessing support, such as online forums, e-mail

or text support, and a call in service through the Boys Town National Hotline

(1-800-448-3000). Help is available 24 hours a day by phone and at various

times throughout the day by http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/pages/ways-to-get-help.aspx#text-info. I encourage you to reach out to one of

the specially trained counselors for assistance with your situation. Good luck

to you moving forward. Take care.

My 9 year old daughter has been stealing from others at school nothing big just snacks small items like paper dolls, stealing candy from school fundraisers and out of the kitchen where it was put up for Easter. She also sneaks clothes out of the house for instance she wasMore told to wear her tennis shoes jeans and a shirt for spring pictures( it was chilly still) so she put her dress shoes, and favorite stretchy pants in her book bag ( really looked awful) and changed at school. She hides her bad grades tears up her brother and sisters stuff just because she wants to. Tears up clothes that she doesn't like. She lies all the time, if I asked her what color the grass was I swear that child would tell me it's purple. My other two kids 12 and 8 are not perfect but they do learn from their mistakes and punishments, she acts like she doesn't care. I have tried everything I can think of and read about this has been going on and getting worse for two years. I try making a big deal when she does good things, but they are fewer and far between. She can be mean to others even physical. I don't know what to do. Talking to her doesn't work and I am at my wits end.

Hii,
My name is Priya, i am new on this blog,i am a working women. i have 8years old daughter. i am only mother to handle all the things of her. she is really a best daughter in the world.
i want guidance from you. i want to become her bestMore friend like she can share all the things with me.
so how can i behave with her?? actually i thought that she is hiding somethings from me and she is fearing to me.

what i do??? please reply...

Hello! I am new to this blog. I have 9 year old twins, a boy and a girl. I was informed today by the principal of their school that my daughter had her brand new Ugg boots stolen by a student in her class who then proceeded to wear theMore boots to school this morning while telling everyone that her mother bought them for her yesterday.

By the end of the morning, the child confessed that she had taken the boots.

My daughter received these (very expensive) boots from my parents for her Christmas gift. I do not allow my daughter to wear the boots outside because I didn't want them ruined. They now have salt and snow stains all over the bottom. I would like the parents to replace my daughter's boots.

The principal called the girl's parents. I feel that I need to also call the girl's parents to talk to them about this issue.

I have heard through the grapevine that this girl's parents are not the best parents and are very poor. They are living in a house that they have trashed and do not pay rent. They also smoke and drink in the house with their children.

I need advice. Should I just talk to the child or should I try pursuing these parents? Thank you.

Kids Who Steal: What You Need To Know

By Carole Banks, LCSW

Younger Kids: Take it Easy

Older Kids: Make Sure Crime Doesn’t Pay

Make Amends

When Your Child Uses Your Credit Card

When Your Child Takes Big-Ticket Items: Are Drugs Involved?

When Stealing Continues

When Your Child Denies the Theft

About Carole Banks, LCSW