Whenever an adolescent doesn’t want to take responsibility, it’s very likely they’ll present themselves as a victim. When your child says, “You don’t understand me,” that’s playing the victim, because what they’re really saying is, “I’m a victim of your misunderstanding." When they say, “My teacher is mean. That’s why I didn’t do my homework,”... Read more »
A diagnosis is an important piece of the puzzle we are trying to solve when we try to help kids with disabilities learn how to function. Many parents are relieved when they get a diagnosis for their acting-out, “problem child” because they see it as a guideline for the future. They think, “Now we’ll know... Read more »
When you have a child who acts out, throws tantrums or is disrespectful, their embarrassing behavior can make you want to curl up into a little ball and hide. Here, James Lehman, MSW gives you some tips on how to cope—and how to teach your child the skills he needs. Many parents struggle with embarrassment when... Read more »
When you have a child who acts out and is disrespectful or disruptive, it's easy to compare him to the so-called "good kids" who never seem to get into trouble or give their parents grief. Many parents feel hopeless about the possibility of ever teaching their child to become the kind of well-behaved member of the... Read more »
"On the way home from work every day, I start getting stressed out because I know that my 15-year-old son will be waiting, ready to start a fight with me. There are times when I want to turn the car around and not deal with him anymore, but I know that's wrong. I'm so tired... Read more »
Some children think they’re the center of the universe, and behave as if everyone should revolve around them like the planets orbit the sun. From the 10-year-old “diva” who demands center stage at all times to the 17-year-old who takes out his frustrations on his family when his girlfriend breaks up with him, this attention-seeking... Read more »
Over the years, many parents in blended families have come to me about stepchild disrespect. In some cases, their stepkids didn't respect them, and in others, their biological child didn't respect their new spouse. Often, the kids were rude or obnoxious, saying things like, "You're not my father; I don't have to listen to you!"... Read more »
Every child feels like they don’t fit in at some point. And with kids, the need to be part of a group is instinctual. It’s survival in their world. They want to fit in and be like everyone else because it gives them a sense of safety and security. So when your child tells you... Read more »
You often hear kids say, "I'm sorry, but..." and follow their apology with an excuse. "I'm sorry, BUT you wouldn't let me play my video games." "I'm sorry I kicked a hole in the wall, BUT you told me I couldn't go outside." What your child really means is this: "I'm sorry, BUT it was your fault." Or another... Read more »
Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect are interchangeable phrases we use to identify our kids' confidence in their ability to handle life's problems. I think of it as the feeling that things are going to work out all right, that you can manage the bumps in the road, and that you respect yourself. Each time a child... Read more »