My husband was diagnosed with cancer in April 2013. The stress and shock that the word cancer brings to any family who deals with it is immense. We had six hospital stays from March to August that year. Even though my husband and I had incredible support from our families, my children, then aged 7 and 9, needed to stay overnight with relatives every time my husband had to be in the hospital. Being without their parents for days at a time was difficult for them emotionally. And all of us knew and felt the gravity of the situation: Cancer can mean the difference between life and death.
My older son, Will, had a particularly rough time dealing with his emotions and the time away from home. He started becoming irritable and stressed, and then came the yelling and impatience. He started to dread homework. Normal tasks that had been easy for him now seemed overwhelming, and he would lash out verbally. Finally, one night I played a little joke on him in the car in the hope that he would laugh, but he lost control. He began kicking the back of the car seat and wouldn’t stop. I had had some experience with counseling through a therapist who had helped me a few years earlier, but those techniques weren’t solving the problems we were having. He needed help, and I needed to learn what to do to help him.
I decided to try The Total Transformation. I found that it helped me learn exactly what I could say to help Will and how to keep calm when emotions ran high. The result was peace in our house. Will has done a marvelous job making progress. He is learning how to cope with his emotions, and I know what to say and do when he feels stressed. After months of using the program, I still listen to the compact discs in the car. The repetition helps me focus on what is working or not working and gives me the wording to help my son. I love this program!
I am now The Total Transformation’s biggest cheerleader because I feel so good about how my son is doing. I am a mom, a teacher and a successfully transformed parent. My son and I have an even closer relationship than we did before I started learning techniques from the program, and we certainly aren’t yelling anymore.
Because of my amazing experience, I jumped at the chance to tell our story when the creators of The Total Transformation asked if we would agree to be in a video about how the program helped us. I was nervous, but despite that, I decided The Total Transformation Program was too good to keep to myself. I really hadn’t said anything to anyone about my success, and it felt like it was time. I can’t wait for other parents to try it and see the same success we did.
Update from Kim, May 2015:
We have spent the last three years picking up the pieces after that diagnosis. The year he underwent treatment was particularly difficult, but the following year, when I decided to try The Total Transformation, things started to get better. This year has been the best yet. I can still say with confidence that The Total Transformation changed and improved our family, and that the results have lasted. We have continued to reap the benefits of using the CDs and workbook.
My son is now at the point where I don’t even have to ask about his homework. I still do, but he takes care of it: He knows what is due and when it is due. He owns it. It is all on time, and it is all complete. We went from just passing grades to all As and Bs. He is proud, and so am I.
His behavior is better. He has coping mechanisms in place now, which I have helped him develop. He doesn’t have the violent outbursts that we had seen previously. He is still a typical middle-schooler, but I am no longer worried about the emotional roller-coaster that those middle school years bring. We can handle it.
Our relationship is still wonderful, and my son knows that no matter what, we will make it through. It sounds funny, but I am glad to be a transformed parent. I know I am doing what is right and good for my boys. Our family isn’t screaming–instead we discuss our feelings. We still disagree, but we can finally talk about our disagreements without the yelling. We are HAPPY!
We are still praying that we can overcome the cancer itself. We have already conquered the anxiety it brought into our lives. That’s what The Total Transformation can do for your family, too!
About Kim Matisak
Kim Matisak is a high school Spanish Teacher and the mother of two boys from Canal Fulton, Ohio.